Devious Journal Entry

How I wish to leave. To travel to the place in have never been. To escape from worries, escape from routine, to run away from people that I hate. I would like to go to a big city. Where lives so many people. They live their life and no one cares who you are.
I wish that the place would be warm but not too hot. There would be winter, but not freezing cold. Autumn, the bright and warm autumn and the rain that falls unexpectedly and at the moment when you don't you have an umbrella.
I would like to live in small apartment, which is full of all kinds of things. I would like to color the room with a dark red.
I would love to have window which have a sill and you can sit on and watch the street and people who walks there. You could think about them. Think where they are going and what do they do.
I would like to have a giant bed, which occupied half the room. I would like to have a balcony with a hammock and I would be lying there when I would be sad.
I would like to live on the 7 floor, and each time climbing stairs I have to take a break to catch my breath and feel that I have heart.
I would like to have a friend, a man who is always nearby, so I could talk with Him about everything. He could live in front of me and He would love Japanese food. That together we could drink coffee and smoke cigarettes. I want to fall in love with Him and He would also fall in love with me.
I wish we could sit together until the morning, and talk until the sun rises, I would go with Him to see the sea and build sand castles. I want Him to be good but strong and know what he wants.
To be handsome but stay manly. He always has a two-day beard, has a great sense of humor and always lifts my mood. I wish He would be great kisser. He could cook, but also teach me. He would let me wear His favorite jerseys, but require them to return. I would like if He never gives me flowers instead He could give me books.
I wish that He would have many friends that He knows them for all his life. I wish that He would have curly hair and I could play with them. I wish that He loved His family. I wish that He would love to take pictures and watch old horror movies.
I wish that He loved me the way I am.
Probably a long list that I made, but such things do not exist. Loneliness is my friend, and my sorrow is my nightmare. Imagination is worst traitor and my dreams are freedom.